1a. Bergling, "Sissyphobia and Everything After", from Gendered Outcasts and Sexual Outlaws.
I wasn’t surprised about this article. I’ve heard this many times before when speaking with friends of mine. The generalization of the queer/gay environment being called ‘sissys’ was something that has always been told to me and I never did care for it. This generalization can be seen in different areas, such as women should be stay at home moms or that women are meant to be weaker than men. I know from experience that I have been looked at due to a cliché. For example, apparently, girls that are covered with tattoos are not very smart, are supposedly gang related or were in the past, and that we are hard edge girls who dominate. Not true for me. It’s just really sad to see these things.
1a. Heasley, "Queer Masculinities of Straight Men", from Men & Masculinities.
I understood this article easily because I know a lot of men who do and don’t follow the norms of men in society. Usually, the guys I take shopping with me are gay since they have great fashion ideas, but there are guys I know who enjoy shopping and spend a lot of money and they are straight. We do assume that men who love fashion or don’t act traditionally are usually gay. Its easy for us to stuff people into those boxes, just as easily as it is for others to stuff us into them. In this century, I think it is okay for men to choose they way they want to live, whether they choose to act like the traditional male, or to have a queering masculinity.
1b. Hennen, "Bear Bodies, Bear Masculinity", from Gender and Society.
I never thought about things in the way the article described. I was surprised personally to realize that I never saw that difference between hyper-masculine working class man, and the physically masculine appearance. I never looked at the idea that whatever job you do will define your body shape, especially if you are a man. This is probably because I know men in both desk and construction professions that do not match the ideal look of what society describes those two men should look like. What I wasn’t surprised about however is the example about the office job friend and the construction worker friend. I know a lot of people who feel pressured to bulk up because of their friends. This is going to sound horrible to some guys, but “it’s a guy thing” in my opinion. That’s how I grew up seeing it.
2b. Bear Bodies, Bear Masculinity
My father was one man that fit the idea of hyper-masculine worker. He was a body builder who worked as a bouncer in many clubs, but then, his real job surprised people. My dad was a computer geek who made them at a company that no longer exists. His coworkers were all skinny and lanky, wore glasses, never worked out, and played video games in their free time. My dad went to the gym, partied, went to the desert and river, and raised me with my mom. I don't think that every man in the world fits his profile of his job by the way he is built but there is a majority of men that do.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Blog 5 - April 10
Cooper Thompson reading: A New Vision of Masculinity (1a)
I really liked the tarot card part and how the picture depicted male and female interaction between the woman and the lion. Being one to collect tarot cards myself, I never thought to take the cards aside and stare at the pictures and see how they were depicted. I understand how this picture fails to be understood by the system of males values of masculinity. This is something completely foreign to what men see. Like the wrestlers, who “show” strength, this picture shows it in a different context.
bell hooks: Feminist Manhood (1a)
When hooks talks about how teachers do not give boys the same girls, I was surprised. I never thought to look at it that way. I always see teachers tell the girls that they don’t have to play rough or do anything that has to do with physical activity if they don’t want to, but I have never seen one tell a boy that he could stay and play with dolls instead of going out on the playground. I think that we have come to the point in our lives that it is automatic to tell the boys to go out and play on the jungle gym or go play tag and football with the other boys. In my whole life, I have never seen the latter. It makes you wonder if your son really wants to go out and play with the other boys or if they are being told to do so.
bell hooks: Loving Men (1b)
“The most vicious man-hating comments are always made by women who are with men and who plan to be with them for the rest of their lives.” Well, obviously. You are planning on living with a man forever and they never live up to your fairy tale expectations. So, you spend your whole time talking about who dumb and cruel they are to you. I especially like the ones that are like, “that asshole. He needs to die in a hole. He always leaves the seat up in the bathroom.” I hear that one a lot. Of course, there are worse complaints.
Katz: More Than A Few Good Men (1c)
Hmmm, men in today’s society going out of their way to help prevent women violence? Uh, I really don’t think so. I’m sorry but I know a lot of my guy friends would not do so because they would not want to be called ‘gay’ or ‘whipped’ or something along those lines. Our society labels men who favor women’s rights as weak. Its funny how men tell women to look inward and seek help. You think that we don’t know that or something? Man, some men sound like psychiatrists on their days off.
bell hooks: Loving Men (2b)
My father once told me that my grandmother never was happy with my grandfather, that she always complained that he didn’t love her enough. Ironically, my grandmother was not a feminist and she never accepted that part of my grandfather when he said that he was in love with her, even though she spent her whole life with him.
I really liked the tarot card part and how the picture depicted male and female interaction between the woman and the lion. Being one to collect tarot cards myself, I never thought to take the cards aside and stare at the pictures and see how they were depicted. I understand how this picture fails to be understood by the system of males values of masculinity. This is something completely foreign to what men see. Like the wrestlers, who “show” strength, this picture shows it in a different context.
bell hooks: Feminist Manhood (1a)
When hooks talks about how teachers do not give boys the same girls, I was surprised. I never thought to look at it that way. I always see teachers tell the girls that they don’t have to play rough or do anything that has to do with physical activity if they don’t want to, but I have never seen one tell a boy that he could stay and play with dolls instead of going out on the playground. I think that we have come to the point in our lives that it is automatic to tell the boys to go out and play on the jungle gym or go play tag and football with the other boys. In my whole life, I have never seen the latter. It makes you wonder if your son really wants to go out and play with the other boys or if they are being told to do so.
bell hooks: Loving Men (1b)
“The most vicious man-hating comments are always made by women who are with men and who plan to be with them for the rest of their lives.” Well, obviously. You are planning on living with a man forever and they never live up to your fairy tale expectations. So, you spend your whole time talking about who dumb and cruel they are to you. I especially like the ones that are like, “that asshole. He needs to die in a hole. He always leaves the seat up in the bathroom.” I hear that one a lot. Of course, there are worse complaints.
Katz: More Than A Few Good Men (1c)
Hmmm, men in today’s society going out of their way to help prevent women violence? Uh, I really don’t think so. I’m sorry but I know a lot of my guy friends would not do so because they would not want to be called ‘gay’ or ‘whipped’ or something along those lines. Our society labels men who favor women’s rights as weak. Its funny how men tell women to look inward and seek help. You think that we don’t know that or something? Man, some men sound like psychiatrists on their days off.
bell hooks: Loving Men (2b)
My father once told me that my grandmother never was happy with my grandfather, that she always complained that he didn’t love her enough. Ironically, my grandmother was not a feminist and she never accepted that part of my grandfather when he said that he was in love with her, even though she spent her whole life with him.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Blog 4 - March 13
Violence Against Women is a Man's Issue (1a)
I never saw the violence against women a mans issue. That’s just something completely foreign to me. I never really thought that men would make it an issue to them. I never gave thought as to why men are raping women. I only hated them because of the violence they used against women. We should dig deeper into the men who commit these actions, figuring them out, studying them. Turn them into guinea pigs I guess. It will help us in the future on trying to prevent such actions. Just thinking about the men out there who are committing such horrible crimes makes me worry for my future daughters.
Male Bashing (1a)
Bitch, ball-buster, dyke, lesbo, crazy…any of you girls ever been called this? Well, I have and it pisses me off greatly. Standing up for my beliefs has put me in this male-bashing group. Yeah, you know what, let the men get pissed. I do not WORK for men to please them. What the hell is with people coming up with these terms? Feminazi? Are you serious? Limbaugh is a damn idiot! Who the hell comes up with linking Nazi’s to feminists? I have never heard of this term before. When I read up on it, I couldn’t believe this guy created some propaganda that linked the two.
Bystanders (1b)
If there were any other time that I was happy to be living in the country that I do now, it would be right about now. After reading this chapter, I was pissed and shocked that in other countries, it is completely fine to “punish” your wife if she disobeys or does not do what the husband demands of her. I never knew that this was allowed in other places and now that I know, it just makes me sick. Why is this allowed? Are women nothing but cattle?
Listening To Women (1b)
Hey, maybe we should listen to women since, you know, they started the movements? Isn’t that awesome or what? Never thought of that one before. No, instead, men are raping women and ignoring them. Oh, but here we are, listening to Katz, and why. Could it be that he is a MAN? Well, duh. Its basic, a concept that we have come to accept. They get more respect, are heard more than women, and they aren’t criticized for what they where. “…women to sit down and shut up and stop complaining (62). What am I, a dog? Fuck you! (Excuse my language.) This just reminds me of why I choose to stay single. I’m not heard by my opposites. They don’t really care because I’m not a man. I also don’t confide in my male peers as much as my female ones because they don’t really have anything concrete or substantial to respond with.
Male Bashing (2a)
I've been called so many things over the years for my beliefs. I've been called a bitch because I don't think men should be the majority of CEO's in the United States. I've been called a lesbo because I think women are powerful and strong. I've been called a man-hater because I would love to see a woman in the President's seat, not counting Hilary or Palin. No thanks to either one of those ladies. Are women calling me these things? Some, but it's mostly men. Honestly, I don't really care at all but it's getting to the point where it's getting a little annoying. Maybe I should make a shirt that says "Warning! I'm a man-hating, lesbian, bitch, who really loves men, is queer, and isn't a bitch."
I never saw the violence against women a mans issue. That’s just something completely foreign to me. I never really thought that men would make it an issue to them. I never gave thought as to why men are raping women. I only hated them because of the violence they used against women. We should dig deeper into the men who commit these actions, figuring them out, studying them. Turn them into guinea pigs I guess. It will help us in the future on trying to prevent such actions. Just thinking about the men out there who are committing such horrible crimes makes me worry for my future daughters.
Male Bashing (1a)
Bitch, ball-buster, dyke, lesbo, crazy…any of you girls ever been called this? Well, I have and it pisses me off greatly. Standing up for my beliefs has put me in this male-bashing group. Yeah, you know what, let the men get pissed. I do not WORK for men to please them. What the hell is with people coming up with these terms? Feminazi? Are you serious? Limbaugh is a damn idiot! Who the hell comes up with linking Nazi’s to feminists? I have never heard of this term before. When I read up on it, I couldn’t believe this guy created some propaganda that linked the two.
Bystanders (1b)
If there were any other time that I was happy to be living in the country that I do now, it would be right about now. After reading this chapter, I was pissed and shocked that in other countries, it is completely fine to “punish” your wife if she disobeys or does not do what the husband demands of her. I never knew that this was allowed in other places and now that I know, it just makes me sick. Why is this allowed? Are women nothing but cattle?
Listening To Women (1b)
Hey, maybe we should listen to women since, you know, they started the movements? Isn’t that awesome or what? Never thought of that one before. No, instead, men are raping women and ignoring them. Oh, but here we are, listening to Katz, and why. Could it be that he is a MAN? Well, duh. Its basic, a concept that we have come to accept. They get more respect, are heard more than women, and they aren’t criticized for what they where. “…women to sit down and shut up and stop complaining (62). What am I, a dog? Fuck you! (Excuse my language.) This just reminds me of why I choose to stay single. I’m not heard by my opposites. They don’t really care because I’m not a man. I also don’t confide in my male peers as much as my female ones because they don’t really have anything concrete or substantial to respond with.
Male Bashing (2a)
I've been called so many things over the years for my beliefs. I've been called a bitch because I don't think men should be the majority of CEO's in the United States. I've been called a lesbo because I think women are powerful and strong. I've been called a man-hater because I would love to see a woman in the President's seat, not counting Hilary or Palin. No thanks to either one of those ladies. Are women calling me these things? Some, but it's mostly men. Honestly, I don't really care at all but it's getting to the point where it's getting a little annoying. Maybe I should make a shirt that says "Warning! I'm a man-hating, lesbian, bitch, who really loves men, is queer, and isn't a bitch."
Sunday, February 28, 2010
blog 3 - Feb. 27
“Being a Boy” (1b)
“…They learn as they grow up that they are not supposed to feel and they shut down…In many ways the fact that today’s boy often has a wider range of emotional expression in early childhood but is forced to suppress emotional awareness later on makes adolescence all the more stressful for boys” (42-43). Well, obviously. This completely makes sense, as it is pretty much a true statement. As kids, the boys can’t actively show their feelings because their parents, mostly fathers, tell them to hide them, to not cry in certain situations for example. And then, they grow up and still have that mindset that they can’t show true emotions because people will think they are weak. Being a boy apparently means that in order to become a man, you need to drop all emotions, and if you can’t drop them, you better be able to hide them. Stupid concept if you ask me. I see it all the time and to see it in words just makes my blood boil. So dumb.
“Making Masculinity” (1c)
Ok, there were a few things that caught my attention, and these things in my opinion- in a “nerds” mind, - are completely true. To be a man, you need to do the following: “By working out, the boys shed their weak, effeminate, and possibly homosexual identities.” Right…that’s totally how to do it. This doesn’t make sense to me at all. Pascoe goes on to say that, “gangstas…flee in terror at the mere hint of the nerds’ strength.” Point being, I have never seen that happen so I am definitely not on the same plane as Pascoe apparently. Maybe I didn’t get this chapter correctly or something but there were just a whole bunch of things in here that I just don’t get. Another instance, I didn’t know that there were different types of masculinities as the Parsonian theories suggest. I thought that if you were deemed masculine, you were that; masculine. And why is femininity not as important as masculinity when scholars are researching? Stupid sexist scholars!
“Becoming Mr. Cougar” (1a)
This is new to me. “…American teens are too innocent to know about sexuality and too sexual to be trusted with information…” in the school system. If this is true, then why do schools have health classes and talk about condoms and sex? “For boys the condoms served as evidence of masculinity in that they were a proxy for heterosexual success…Condoms became concrete symbols of masculinity through their signification of heterosexual activity.” And homosexuals don’t use condoms? Okay, but really, I had never thought that a condom would intensify a males idea that if he had them, he was going to be feeling extremely masculine. I know girls who have them. Does that make them feel masculine or just more feminine?
“Dude, You’re a Fag” (1b)
The kids Pascoe spoke to voiced that they associated “gay” with being less than but not with sexuality. Interesting if you ask me. Never thought of it that way. It was pretty interesting to see that boys do not exactly fear homophobia but that they fear that if they act less masculine, they would be emasculated. “Gay,” from a guy’s mouth usually means an insult while “slut,” from a girl’s mouth usually means the same. I’ve heard girls use the term “gay.” I’m not going to deny it. I have done so on many occasion when I think something is really dumb or stupid, but I never looked at it as something that could possibly reflect my sexual activity level. Since I’ve never been called a “slut,” I guess my sexual activity level is low, huh? Ha ha.
“Compulsive Heterosexuality” (1a)
Boy, I am not a puppet! In “Females are the Puppets,” Nancy Henley wrote a passage saying that when she was at a country dance, the boys used the girls to show off who was better by dancing with them, in turn, using them as puppets to make themselves look better. I never thought that men used women as puppets to further enlarge their overbearing masculinity but now that I read this, I’m shocked and down right pissed off. “By dominating girls’ bodies boys defended against fag position, increased their social status, and forged bonds of solidarity with other boys.” These behaviors are looked at as ‘social.’ Give me a fucking break. Even though Pascoe brought up that it is not saying these boys are unrepentant sexists, I have to disagree. Now looking back, I can see where things like this happened in my life.
(2a)
I remember in high school, last period P.E. was for anyone who was doing sports for the year. Since I was doing shot put and discus, I was able to go into the workout room with the football players, the basketball players, and the soccer players. I remember watching them all lift weights; each time rotating and the next guy saying he could do more weight then the last. During this time, I was really into weight lifting, having grown up with a body builder dad and uncle. My favorite thing to do was the leg press, where you lay on your back and push against the weights with her feet. Anyway, I remember one day, I was the first into the weight room and I headed straight for it. I was probably pushing around 500 pounds when the guys started to come in. When they saw the weight I was pushing, they all started taking turns at the one next to me, saying they could out push each other as well as “do better than that girl,” even though I was their friend of 3 years. My max weight was 700 pounds and the guys could barely get to that weight. I remember them all getting up, saying “fuck this” and “she’s bullshit” just because I could out press the guys and they all moved on to bench press. Even though I was a friend with all of them, I was looked down upon because I was stronger in the legs than my guy friends. It goes back to the last reading, “Making Masculinity” and the need to work out to show their masculinity. A few of them tried to pull me off the machine and tell me that I’m a girl and shouldn’t be as strong as them, that it makes me more of a boy. After that, the same guys always said that I looked weird when I was wearing a skirt. I guess a strong woman can’t be feminine.
“…They learn as they grow up that they are not supposed to feel and they shut down…In many ways the fact that today’s boy often has a wider range of emotional expression in early childhood but is forced to suppress emotional awareness later on makes adolescence all the more stressful for boys” (42-43). Well, obviously. This completely makes sense, as it is pretty much a true statement. As kids, the boys can’t actively show their feelings because their parents, mostly fathers, tell them to hide them, to not cry in certain situations for example. And then, they grow up and still have that mindset that they can’t show true emotions because people will think they are weak. Being a boy apparently means that in order to become a man, you need to drop all emotions, and if you can’t drop them, you better be able to hide them. Stupid concept if you ask me. I see it all the time and to see it in words just makes my blood boil. So dumb.
“Making Masculinity” (1c)
Ok, there were a few things that caught my attention, and these things in my opinion- in a “nerds” mind, - are completely true. To be a man, you need to do the following: “By working out, the boys shed their weak, effeminate, and possibly homosexual identities.” Right…that’s totally how to do it. This doesn’t make sense to me at all. Pascoe goes on to say that, “gangstas…flee in terror at the mere hint of the nerds’ strength.” Point being, I have never seen that happen so I am definitely not on the same plane as Pascoe apparently. Maybe I didn’t get this chapter correctly or something but there were just a whole bunch of things in here that I just don’t get. Another instance, I didn’t know that there were different types of masculinities as the Parsonian theories suggest. I thought that if you were deemed masculine, you were that; masculine. And why is femininity not as important as masculinity when scholars are researching? Stupid sexist scholars!
“Becoming Mr. Cougar” (1a)
This is new to me. “…American teens are too innocent to know about sexuality and too sexual to be trusted with information…” in the school system. If this is true, then why do schools have health classes and talk about condoms and sex? “For boys the condoms served as evidence of masculinity in that they were a proxy for heterosexual success…Condoms became concrete symbols of masculinity through their signification of heterosexual activity.” And homosexuals don’t use condoms? Okay, but really, I had never thought that a condom would intensify a males idea that if he had them, he was going to be feeling extremely masculine. I know girls who have them. Does that make them feel masculine or just more feminine?
“Dude, You’re a Fag” (1b)
The kids Pascoe spoke to voiced that they associated “gay” with being less than but not with sexuality. Interesting if you ask me. Never thought of it that way. It was pretty interesting to see that boys do not exactly fear homophobia but that they fear that if they act less masculine, they would be emasculated. “Gay,” from a guy’s mouth usually means an insult while “slut,” from a girl’s mouth usually means the same. I’ve heard girls use the term “gay.” I’m not going to deny it. I have done so on many occasion when I think something is really dumb or stupid, but I never looked at it as something that could possibly reflect my sexual activity level. Since I’ve never been called a “slut,” I guess my sexual activity level is low, huh? Ha ha.
“Compulsive Heterosexuality” (1a)
Boy, I am not a puppet! In “Females are the Puppets,” Nancy Henley wrote a passage saying that when she was at a country dance, the boys used the girls to show off who was better by dancing with them, in turn, using them as puppets to make themselves look better. I never thought that men used women as puppets to further enlarge their overbearing masculinity but now that I read this, I’m shocked and down right pissed off. “By dominating girls’ bodies boys defended against fag position, increased their social status, and forged bonds of solidarity with other boys.” These behaviors are looked at as ‘social.’ Give me a fucking break. Even though Pascoe brought up that it is not saying these boys are unrepentant sexists, I have to disagree. Now looking back, I can see where things like this happened in my life.
(2a)
I remember in high school, last period P.E. was for anyone who was doing sports for the year. Since I was doing shot put and discus, I was able to go into the workout room with the football players, the basketball players, and the soccer players. I remember watching them all lift weights; each time rotating and the next guy saying he could do more weight then the last. During this time, I was really into weight lifting, having grown up with a body builder dad and uncle. My favorite thing to do was the leg press, where you lay on your back and push against the weights with her feet. Anyway, I remember one day, I was the first into the weight room and I headed straight for it. I was probably pushing around 500 pounds when the guys started to come in. When they saw the weight I was pushing, they all started taking turns at the one next to me, saying they could out push each other as well as “do better than that girl,” even though I was their friend of 3 years. My max weight was 700 pounds and the guys could barely get to that weight. I remember them all getting up, saying “fuck this” and “she’s bullshit” just because I could out press the guys and they all moved on to bench press. Even though I was a friend with all of them, I was looked down upon because I was stronger in the legs than my guy friends. It goes back to the last reading, “Making Masculinity” and the need to work out to show their masculinity. A few of them tried to pull me off the machine and tell me that I’m a girl and shouldn’t be as strong as them, that it makes me more of a boy. After that, the same guys always said that I looked weird when I was wearing a skirt. I guess a strong woman can’t be feminine.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Blog 2 - Feb. 13
Act Like A Man (1b)
Kivel is absolutely, one hundred percent correct when he says men are pushed inside this box and told to be more masculine. “From a very early age, boys are told to ‘Act Like a Man.’ … Most of all, they are told not to cry.” This statement has so much truth behind it, I can’t even believe most people don’t realize it. Each day, I watch as little boys are told to act tough and not cry by their parents but then turn around and tell the little girl that it is okay to cry. Raising children in this world has become like an automatic trend. Have sex, birth the kids, then turn them into these little replica’s of what society believes is correct. Oh, and if the boy doesn’t act manly enough, he’s gay. Yes, that sounds so totally logical. Because of this, like Kivel said, men grow up and think the power and money can get them anything they want and because of that, they are a man.
Patriarchy, The System (1c)
Since this reading was so long, I’m focusing on one thing that stood out to me. Johnson says that deep inside the patriarchal ideas is a web that says there are only two genders; “the patriarchal heterosexuality is ‘natural’ and same-sex attraction is not.” So what they are trying to say is that, for example, Bob who is a man, who grew up as a man, and looks like a man, can’t like men because he cannot bear and breast feed children, and Jill, who is a female and grew up as a female can’t like women because women are difficult on their periods. Hmmm…WHAT?! Really? Look, I’m not disagreeing with Johnson. I’m disagreeing with this concept. People in our society are so damn nuts it drives me crazy. If women cannot like women because they PMS on the period, then man should clearly stay away as well because a dominant women is definitely dangerous! I think this idea of patriarchal genders is very last century. I have seen more men staying at home and watching the kids than women.
Wanted: Men Who Love (1a)
“…women felt not because men refused to share their power but because we could not seduce, cajole, or entice men to share their emotions – to love us.” This sentence had me opening my eyes and thinking about everything around me. I never thought this would have been part of the start for the feminists. I also think about another sentence that caught my eye. “If they dared to love us, in patriarchal culture they would cease to be real ‘men.’ How does this compare to men and heterosexuality? Is the pressure to love women really mean to be with them? I’m not sure, but it was something that opened my eyes and made me think. If they fail at love at all, is that what we are seeing being exploited in the media when their relationships are dysfunctional?
Understanding Patriarchy (1a)
Not speaking about the problem of institutionalized gender roles, as bell hooks points out, is promoting the denial. Not originally understanding the ‘patriarchy’ term, I was surprised to see that it is used now by feminists to replace “male chauvanism” and “sexism.” I was laughing at the paragraph that explained that, by putting the blame on the men, women could maintain their own lust for power. I never saw this side of feminists and I was a little surprised to see just how strong they voice their opinions on men, sometimes maybe even too much. Compared to this, I would have to say I’m a very, very soft feminist.
Act Like A Man (2b)
Each time I see my uncle and nephew together, I watch as my uncle puts my nephew down for crying. Connor, my nephew, could do something by accident or on purpose, because, well lets face it, he’s a 7 year old and loves to get in to things, and he will suddenly start crying. I have watched on many occasions, my uncle come over, grab Connor’s arm, and slap his bottom, all the while saying, “Stop crying and be a big boy! Men don’t cry!” I really hate that line and I hate watching it happen. Most of the time, I scold my uncle and treat him like a little boy for doing what he does and I know he hates it. He once told me to treat him with respect because he was “the man.” My response; “Well, I’m the woman and that’s my nephew. Stop being a typical male and let him cry!” I seriously don’t think young boys should be placed in this box and made to conform to what people think they should. I would love to say I wont do that with my son, but I don’t know.
Kivel is absolutely, one hundred percent correct when he says men are pushed inside this box and told to be more masculine. “From a very early age, boys are told to ‘Act Like a Man.’ … Most of all, they are told not to cry.” This statement has so much truth behind it, I can’t even believe most people don’t realize it. Each day, I watch as little boys are told to act tough and not cry by their parents but then turn around and tell the little girl that it is okay to cry. Raising children in this world has become like an automatic trend. Have sex, birth the kids, then turn them into these little replica’s of what society believes is correct. Oh, and if the boy doesn’t act manly enough, he’s gay. Yes, that sounds so totally logical. Because of this, like Kivel said, men grow up and think the power and money can get them anything they want and because of that, they are a man.
Patriarchy, The System (1c)
Since this reading was so long, I’m focusing on one thing that stood out to me. Johnson says that deep inside the patriarchal ideas is a web that says there are only two genders; “the patriarchal heterosexuality is ‘natural’ and same-sex attraction is not.” So what they are trying to say is that, for example, Bob who is a man, who grew up as a man, and looks like a man, can’t like men because he cannot bear and breast feed children, and Jill, who is a female and grew up as a female can’t like women because women are difficult on their periods. Hmmm…WHAT?! Really? Look, I’m not disagreeing with Johnson. I’m disagreeing with this concept. People in our society are so damn nuts it drives me crazy. If women cannot like women because they PMS on the period, then man should clearly stay away as well because a dominant women is definitely dangerous! I think this idea of patriarchal genders is very last century. I have seen more men staying at home and watching the kids than women.
Wanted: Men Who Love (1a)
“…women felt not because men refused to share their power but because we could not seduce, cajole, or entice men to share their emotions – to love us.” This sentence had me opening my eyes and thinking about everything around me. I never thought this would have been part of the start for the feminists. I also think about another sentence that caught my eye. “If they dared to love us, in patriarchal culture they would cease to be real ‘men.’ How does this compare to men and heterosexuality? Is the pressure to love women really mean to be with them? I’m not sure, but it was something that opened my eyes and made me think. If they fail at love at all, is that what we are seeing being exploited in the media when their relationships are dysfunctional?
Understanding Patriarchy (1a)
Not speaking about the problem of institutionalized gender roles, as bell hooks points out, is promoting the denial. Not originally understanding the ‘patriarchy’ term, I was surprised to see that it is used now by feminists to replace “male chauvanism” and “sexism.” I was laughing at the paragraph that explained that, by putting the blame on the men, women could maintain their own lust for power. I never saw this side of feminists and I was a little surprised to see just how strong they voice their opinions on men, sometimes maybe even too much. Compared to this, I would have to say I’m a very, very soft feminist.
Act Like A Man (2b)
Each time I see my uncle and nephew together, I watch as my uncle puts my nephew down for crying. Connor, my nephew, could do something by accident or on purpose, because, well lets face it, he’s a 7 year old and loves to get in to things, and he will suddenly start crying. I have watched on many occasions, my uncle come over, grab Connor’s arm, and slap his bottom, all the while saying, “Stop crying and be a big boy! Men don’t cry!” I really hate that line and I hate watching it happen. Most of the time, I scold my uncle and treat him like a little boy for doing what he does and I know he hates it. He once told me to treat him with respect because he was “the man.” My response; “Well, I’m the woman and that’s my nephew. Stop being a typical male and let him cry!” I seriously don’t think young boys should be placed in this box and made to conform to what people think they should. I would love to say I wont do that with my son, but I don’t know.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Blog 1 - Feb. 3
Gendered Bodies: Feminist Perspectives (1c)
The text describes that men and women are view very differently from an early age to adulthood, like how as women grow older, the media shows them that they have to be sexualized and be dependent on their partners. Men’s bodies are supposed to bring in political power and dominance. If either sex acts differently, they are looked down upon. Masculinity and femininity help us place each other in future job roles? Give me a break! Are you serious? Who says a masculine man can’t be a nurse and a feminine woman can’t be a construction worker? My genitalia do not describe who I am completely and do not categorize me into a certain group. It just describes that I was born a girl. I’m a little confused on how people can base their opinions on an entire group of people, of either sex, by what they see and experience from a small majority. I agree that we as a society decide just what makes the body of a male and a female different from each other. Mostly, it’s just a bunch of bull****.
A Continuous Nonverbal Communication (1a)
I knew that women had to wear the covering over their faces but what I did not know was that men were expected to grow out their beards and that anyone coming out that they were homosexual was illegal and punishable by death. I also never thought about myself getting up in the morning and preparing myself for the way I want society to see me and then it all turns around and society is the one telling me who I am personally by the way I look. I also was surprised to see that gender is drag in a way, that we are always setting ourselves up for the day to play the gender role we want. Apparently, even if I change my appearance, nothing is going to change really about my gender. Somehow, I really don’t agree with that but I’m just one voice in a sea of thousands.
How Do You Know? (1b)
Green made an interesting point when he asked the class how they knew what sex they were. I never thought to dismiss the chromosomes because that answer could be completely wrong as 1 in 100 people don’t fit that category correctly. Feelings are also important but even though you can relate your feelings to your bodies feelings and to your sexual feelings, it also cannot completely define a person’s sex. Gender, yes, but not sex. To me, that makes complete sense. I have witnessed many male friends who has a XY chromosome, and yes, a few know due to having it checked due to illness within the family, but their feelings help define them more completely by their attraction to males instead of females. I really like the example Green uses about the beautiful, slim woman lifting up the bench and talking in a butch voice. It proves that there is more under the surface of people than what we can see with the eye. For example, I have a friend who looks completely male. He has a deep voice, has stubble on his chin, has thick arm muscles, but his lower body is completely female, complete with ovaries. No one would notice. I never noticed, not that I looked, until he told me in confidence.
Night to His Day (1b)
I agree with the fact that Lorber makes about transsexuals not being a third gender. The choice to change from male to female or female to male is a process that takes time, but it does not make a separate gender for society. '”They do so in order to bring their physical anatomy in congruence with the way they want to live and with their own sense of gender identity” (Lorber 4). What really surprised me was that transvestite women fought as men in war. I didn’t know that. It makes me think about our war that we are dealing with now, how many are fighting to keep our country safe and we still have people who persecute them for their lifes choices.
Gendered Bodies: Feminist Perspectives (2b)
Speaking on the fact of men being masculine and having that lead to their roles in certain jobs, I know one man in my life that completely goes against the idea of taking on a masculine job. My friend “Bob,” whose name I’m changing out of respect to him in case he doesn’t want his name here, owns a fashion boutique that supplies only women clothing and accessories. On the side, he teaches kids how to dance and nothing about the dance is masculine. He is an outspoken gay, and with his flamboyant spouse, they dress to empress. “Bill”, his lover, whose name I changed as well, is an interior designer who doesn’t hide the fact that he is very feminine. When I was reading this text, I realized just how much they go against societies expectations of being a dominating male or one in a state of masculine power. I have heard people talk down to them, asking questions like “Why does a guy own a girls’ clothing store?” or “You dance like a girl.” I really do hate people who say things like that. It hits me hard when I see people belittling them because of their chosen profession, as well as their being feminine males in todays society.
The text describes that men and women are view very differently from an early age to adulthood, like how as women grow older, the media shows them that they have to be sexualized and be dependent on their partners. Men’s bodies are supposed to bring in political power and dominance. If either sex acts differently, they are looked down upon. Masculinity and femininity help us place each other in future job roles? Give me a break! Are you serious? Who says a masculine man can’t be a nurse and a feminine woman can’t be a construction worker? My genitalia do not describe who I am completely and do not categorize me into a certain group. It just describes that I was born a girl. I’m a little confused on how people can base their opinions on an entire group of people, of either sex, by what they see and experience from a small majority. I agree that we as a society decide just what makes the body of a male and a female different from each other. Mostly, it’s just a bunch of bull****.
A Continuous Nonverbal Communication (1a)
I knew that women had to wear the covering over their faces but what I did not know was that men were expected to grow out their beards and that anyone coming out that they were homosexual was illegal and punishable by death. I also never thought about myself getting up in the morning and preparing myself for the way I want society to see me and then it all turns around and society is the one telling me who I am personally by the way I look. I also was surprised to see that gender is drag in a way, that we are always setting ourselves up for the day to play the gender role we want. Apparently, even if I change my appearance, nothing is going to change really about my gender. Somehow, I really don’t agree with that but I’m just one voice in a sea of thousands.
How Do You Know? (1b)
Green made an interesting point when he asked the class how they knew what sex they were. I never thought to dismiss the chromosomes because that answer could be completely wrong as 1 in 100 people don’t fit that category correctly. Feelings are also important but even though you can relate your feelings to your bodies feelings and to your sexual feelings, it also cannot completely define a person’s sex. Gender, yes, but not sex. To me, that makes complete sense. I have witnessed many male friends who has a XY chromosome, and yes, a few know due to having it checked due to illness within the family, but their feelings help define them more completely by their attraction to males instead of females. I really like the example Green uses about the beautiful, slim woman lifting up the bench and talking in a butch voice. It proves that there is more under the surface of people than what we can see with the eye. For example, I have a friend who looks completely male. He has a deep voice, has stubble on his chin, has thick arm muscles, but his lower body is completely female, complete with ovaries. No one would notice. I never noticed, not that I looked, until he told me in confidence.
Night to His Day (1b)
I agree with the fact that Lorber makes about transsexuals not being a third gender. The choice to change from male to female or female to male is a process that takes time, but it does not make a separate gender for society. '”They do so in order to bring their physical anatomy in congruence with the way they want to live and with their own sense of gender identity” (Lorber 4). What really surprised me was that transvestite women fought as men in war. I didn’t know that. It makes me think about our war that we are dealing with now, how many are fighting to keep our country safe and we still have people who persecute them for their lifes choices.
Gendered Bodies: Feminist Perspectives (2b)
Speaking on the fact of men being masculine and having that lead to their roles in certain jobs, I know one man in my life that completely goes against the idea of taking on a masculine job. My friend “Bob,” whose name I’m changing out of respect to him in case he doesn’t want his name here, owns a fashion boutique that supplies only women clothing and accessories. On the side, he teaches kids how to dance and nothing about the dance is masculine. He is an outspoken gay, and with his flamboyant spouse, they dress to empress. “Bill”, his lover, whose name I changed as well, is an interior designer who doesn’t hide the fact that he is very feminine. When I was reading this text, I realized just how much they go against societies expectations of being a dominating male or one in a state of masculine power. I have heard people talk down to them, asking questions like “Why does a guy own a girls’ clothing store?” or “You dance like a girl.” I really do hate people who say things like that. It hits me hard when I see people belittling them because of their chosen profession, as well as their being feminine males in todays society.
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