Blog 2 - Feb. 13

Act Like A Man (1b)
Kivel is absolutely, one hundred percent correct when he says men are pushed inside this box and told to be more masculine. “From a very early age, boys are told to ‘Act Like a Man.’ … Most of all, they are told not to cry.” This statement has so much truth behind it, I can’t even believe most people don’t realize it. Each day, I watch as little boys are told to act tough and not cry by their parents but then turn around and tell the little girl that it is okay to cry. Raising children in this world has become like an automatic trend. Have sex, birth the kids, then turn them into these little replica’s of what society believes is correct. Oh, and if the boy doesn’t act manly enough, he’s gay. Yes, that sounds so totally logical. Because of this, like Kivel said, men grow up and think the power and money can get them anything they want and because of that, they are a man.

Patriarchy, The System (1c)
Since this reading was so long, I’m focusing on one thing that stood out to me. Johnson says that deep inside the patriarchal ideas is a web that says there are only two genders; “the patriarchal heterosexuality is ‘natural’ and same-sex attraction is not.” So what they are trying to say is that, for example, Bob who is a man, who grew up as a man, and looks like a man, can’t like men because he cannot bear and breast feed children, and Jill, who is a female and grew up as a female can’t like women because women are difficult on their periods. Hmmm…WHAT?! Really? Look, I’m not disagreeing with Johnson. I’m disagreeing with this concept. People in our society are so damn nuts it drives me crazy. If women cannot like women because they PMS on the period, then man should clearly stay away as well because a dominant women is definitely dangerous! I think this idea of patriarchal genders is very last century. I have seen more men staying at home and watching the kids than women.

Wanted: Men Who Love (1a)
“…women felt not because men refused to share their power but because we could not seduce, cajole, or entice men to share their emotions – to love us.” This sentence had me opening my eyes and thinking about everything around me. I never thought this would have been part of the start for the feminists. I also think about another sentence that caught my eye. “If they dared to love us, in patriarchal culture they would cease to be real ‘men.’ How does this compare to men and heterosexuality? Is the pressure to love women really mean to be with them? I’m not sure, but it was something that opened my eyes and made me think. If they fail at love at all, is that what we are seeing being exploited in the media when their relationships are dysfunctional?

Understanding Patriarchy (1a)
Not speaking about the problem of institutionalized gender roles, as bell hooks points out, is promoting the denial. Not originally understanding the ‘patriarchy’ term, I was surprised to see that it is used now by feminists to replace “male chauvanism” and “sexism.” I was laughing at the paragraph that explained that, by putting the blame on the men, women could maintain their own lust for power. I never saw this side of feminists and I was a little surprised to see just how strong they voice their opinions on men, sometimes maybe even too much. Compared to this, I would have to say I’m a very, very soft feminist.

Act Like A Man (2b)
Each time I see my uncle and nephew together, I watch as my uncle puts my nephew down for crying. Connor, my nephew, could do something by accident or on purpose, because, well lets face it, he’s a 7 year old and loves to get in to things, and he will suddenly start crying. I have watched on many occasions, my uncle come over, grab Connor’s arm, and slap his bottom, all the while saying, “Stop crying and be a big boy! Men don’t cry!” I really hate that line and I hate watching it happen. Most of the time, I scold my uncle and treat him like a little boy for doing what he does and I know he hates it. He once told me to treat him with respect because he was “the man.” My response; “Well, I’m the woman and that’s my nephew. Stop being a typical male and let him cry!” I seriously don’t think young boys should be placed in this box and made to conform to what people think they should. I would love to say I wont do that with my son, but I don’t know.